You know your life sucks when

you find yourself googling, “what should I do with my life?” By yourself.  On a Friday night.

Incidentally

One of the most common search terms used to find this site is: “wife’s that don’t put out.”

Uh huh.  That’s me, right here.

Bird Dress

I am not ordinarily in the habit of celebrity fashion-watching, but: this is the most inventive and beautiful dress I’ve seen in a long, long time, and I want it.

I will be only mildly surprised if I wake up to this tomorrow morning

Watch out for the R.O.U.Ses!

I challenge you to look at this picture and deny that the American possum is among the top three ugliest animals in the world.*

Today on my morning walk I saw two dead possums. At first I didn’t think about it, because it’s the time of year when the females are all pregnant and tumescent and can’t get across the road quickly enough. But then I thought about the sheer number of dead pregnant possums I have seen in my life, and how that must be a tiny fraction of the actual total. How do they still exist? Were there a lot more of them before the advent of automobiles? Do they just breed like crazy, so that for every pregnant female that gets hit by a car, there are, like, ten more that know enough not to cross the road for christsakes?

*I’m not sure what the other two are, but I have a feeling they also look primeval. The anteater? The sloth?

I can’t stop